Sunday, November 14, 2010

I feel like a zombie come back to life

As a sidenote: I'm sitting in a coffeeshop as a cute, male college senior talks with someone about his application to Teach for America. To the powers who make these decisions, please take more male teachers in this program. I can't even tell you how many of my students would benefit from more positive male role models in their lives. The Nashville corps is small enough that the ratio, not so different from the national one, feels very X chromosome heavy

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I took a sick day on Friday. Initially, I had thought it would be a mental health day but as the week progressed, it turned into an actual health day. I know my principal assumed it was a mental health day, but I actually went to the MNPS clinic and had doctor's orders to sleep, hydrate, and eat whatever I wanted. While stress does affect my body, I know how to read the signs pretty well and since a scare sophomore year, I've gotten really good at acknowledging when my body needs a break. Having a day solely devoted to doing nothing was exactly what my body needed. My headache disappeared (maybe with the help of lots of advil), nothing was blurry all day, and didn't feel the urge to heave more than once or twice.

But I felt so guilty being away from my kids. I missed them all. Even the one who talks when she thinks I'm not looking and then denies it. Even the one who has had a hissy fit almost every day for the last 4 weeks and no one can figure out why. Even the one who comments on my clothes and makes me rethink my outfit almost every day. All of them.  I hope that they would show the substitute that they were a well-behaved class, that they are smart and can talk candidly about what we're learning to catch her up to speed. While I'll get the full report tomorrow, my notes from coworkers indicated that it was not so good. Maybe they'll appreciate me more when I get back? Maybe?

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