Students? What students?

Although it's taken several weeks, I'm finally relaxed enough to enjoy my summer. After the school year ended, I was still having dreams about not having my copies done and feeling unprepared. While I've had other vacations, this is the first time I don't have to worry about my plans and my students -- the sense of urgency has also taken a vacation.

I had images of the last few days of school being filled with fun and excitement. By the time I was attempting to file assault charges on student on the last full day of school, I was just hoping to make it to the end without further incident. On the last day of school, 5 students were absent. This broke my heart a little, because I had hoped to get to say goodbye to them all. Many of the students will be back next year as we do have a 5th grade, but others will be leaving to start at one of the many charter or magnet school options available to them.

All year, I've wondered about my placement. Initially when I'd applied, I had crossed all my fingers and all my toes to get a high school placement. When I had to choose elementary school or math in Nashville, I struggled with it longer than many of my friends expected -- I'd always hated math, so why would I entertain the idea of teaching it? As much as I love adorable little children, I can't see myself teaching lower elementary. I love content and application of knowledge and given my own experiences with bodily excretions, I think I'll applaud the work of our wonderful lower elementary teachers and watch with careful interest as they make their way up to me.

One of the biggest perks of being a 4th grade teacher didn't hit me until I was at Induction for the 2011 corps members (I'm one of the TTCs which has enabled me to interact with many of the incoming CMs already). I was talking with one of the CMs lucky enough to already have a placement at a new charter school here in town where several of my students will be going next year. As I thought about my kiddos heading onto 5th grade, I realized with few exceptions I know at least one of their teachers in the coming year. Even if we're not in the same building anymore, I felt this surge of happiness in knowing that my kids will be in the hands of capable, enthusiastic teachers who will continue to hold them to high expectations. Needless, I am curious how they transition -- the 2011 CM is getting my highest AND lowest math student, so I am fascinated to see how well they do in 5th grade. I consciously did not tell the CM my kids names, because I want him to have the opportunity to get to know them without my own views of this past year.

As much as I found induction 2.0 rejuvenating, I can say with 100 percent certainty that I am glad I am not back at Institute! Thinking back to this time last year, I was miserable, exhausted, and frustrated with TFA's training. I felt pulled in a thousand different directions. Overwhelmed with information, I still felt underprepared for what I needed.

The biggest reason? Although I arrived in Nashville a little over a year ago, I didn't get to live in Nashville over the summer and enjoy some of the great opportunities that are here. Now that the cicadas are gone, it's actually quite nice to be outside whether taking a walk at Radnor Lake, indulging my inner epicurean, or catching an outdoor movie or Sounds game. Throughout the year when people asked if I would stay in Nashville beyond the TFA commitment, I hemmed and hawed.

Sorry Mom, but now I'm letting myself seriously consider it.

Spring Break Fever

I had to double check the date when I saw I hadn't posted in almost 6 weeks - has it really been that long? In some ways, this quarter has felt like it has dragged on forever. In many other ways, I feel like I'm still scrambling to get things in my life in order. We have a little over a week left of school (since the district decided to convert professional development and spring break days into school days) and I don't want to think about school anymore. Spring break is so close I can almost taste it.

Since you can't actually taste it, I'll just have to be content with the tour de food I've been undertaking this weekend. Many moons ago I mentioned wanting to have more of a social life and people ask me all the time how I like things about Nashville. Well, here's an attempt to share.

On Saturday, a group of us went to Sparkles Cupcake Company, courtesy of Ms. D. You would think that as an elementary school teacher I would be sick of cupcakes. Every time a student has a birthday, I seem to end up with a large sugary confection that resembles a cupcake once you reduce the frosting. And not even just my students -- sometimes it's students from other 4th grades, sometimes it's 5th graders from around the corner, and sometimes I don't recognize the child handing me the cupcake at all.

Am I sick of cupcakes? No. Which is probably why cupcake shops are sprouting up all around the country and even have their own television shows.

Today, my roommates and I went to partake in some Mardi Gras festivities at Belle Meade Plantation. A pale comparison to the real Mardi Gras and FREEZING, but enjoyable nonetheless. It's amazing how excited the small children around me got by the flying plastic beads. I did manage to get the little girl beside me to cheer for the milk truck -- I do love getting kids to drink "white milk". After the parade, we went on a tour of the mansion and tried some of the wines that they make. It was definitely one of the more uniquely Nashville things that I've done.

I've got a backlog of other things I've meant to write up, but I meant it when I said the last few weeks have been crazy. While there have been some high points in that time, there have also been some big lows, and it's just been emotionally draining. I've discovered that when I take me time, I'm happier and thus the students are happier as well. But when I take me time, I feel guilty about it or think about all the work I could be doing, and then I don't enjoy myself as much. Problem? Very much so.