The Evolution of a Teacher

It's Sunday night before the last full week of school. I can't remember the last time I felt this mentally and physically exhausted. What with getting ready to move and preparing for the end of school, there have been a lot of really un-fun real-people things to deal with.

So here's to thinking about the FUN things that have been going on recently. We took our state tests a few weeks ago and fingers crossed, we did well. That left a chunk of time where we needed to create a project for our final Open House. I took the chance to do a version of a project I've been thinking about doing all year, but wasn't sure how to implement.

We made a lapbook about slavery in Tennessee. Here is the outside

Flip it open and you'll see three parts. On the left, students got to pick a primary document and write about it. I was impressed that most of my kids actually picked the documents with text, rather than the image. In the middle is our state divided into the three geopolitical parts. On the right hand side is the vocabulary used in the unit (overseer, abolitionist, conductors, patrollers)

Not only did we include basic information, but we were able to incorporate foldables (that worked!) into the book. The vocabulary words flip to reveal the definition. The geopolitical folds share information about how the areas perceived slavery and the number of slaves used in those areas.

Surprise! The middle flips open as well. We used a timeline to look at the events that led up to the Emancipation Proclamation. We actually started further back, but it wasn't going to fit. Each of the main dates is actually a foldable as well. When you flip it up, you can see the population in the state for free blacks compared to slaves. We actually talked about population trends in math class, looking at the differences between years, various states, and between free/enslaved.

I could not have imagined doing a project like this last year. Simply put, my brain was not ready for it. I didn't think my kids could handle some of it and I certainly didn't have all the procedures in place for fun things with materials (a kid was sent to the hospital for sticking his fingers in another kid's scissors, so that is somewhat justified). I also was really limited in how my kids used color and finding ways for them to be expressive while meeting more basic expectations. I also prepared for this in advance, creating a mockup that the kids could reference AND I built it up along with them.

How much did they learn? Worlds more than they did last year on the same topic. They actually enjoyed the project and were begging to work on it. They have more pride in these projects than almost any of the other projects that we've done all year. THIS is the kind of teaching I want to be doing.

Oh hey, remember me?

It’s been awhile, I know. Every now and again I thought about writing, but after slugging through the day, the last things I wanted to do was spend more time in my head thinking about school. Also, I’m trying to follow more of the “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all” motto.

Which explains the 3-month absence.

After Thanksgiving, I got a student moved into my classroom from a teammate. In what was ruled not a case of zero-tolerance, this student (let’s call him Jump) hit his teacher and moving classrooms was an intervention. While I guess it’s encouraging that my principal thought my classroom culture was healthy enough to sustain this new member, I was terrified at the prospect.

In the first week, he got into a fight every single day. In the second week, he ended up being taken to juvenile for conduct. Each day came the critical decision: do I let him sleep and let the other students learn or do I wake him up and try to get him involved in the class culture? Talk about survival mode.

Winter break could not come fast enough. I recharged some of my batteries and felt really inspired by a TFA alum who’d led a session on classroom turnaround at one of our Saturday Sessions.  Still, I wasn’t sure what would happen. Initially, it went ok. I worked with one of the counselors to get him some basic supplies. That helped a little, but not enough.

The long and short is that after going almost a week without major incidents, he escalated rapidly during math stations to hit 3 students. When I went to the phone to call for assistance, he began hitting me. 

Needless to say, school hasn’t been the same. The weeks immediately following were a blur. I got to school close to when it started and then was leaving right after for physical therapy for several weeks. I don’t know how well my students have gotten any of the gotten in the last few weeks, but we’ve worked our butts off to get our classroom feeling safe. My students haven’t physically threatened anyone in class since, although we’re still working on taking responsibility for verbal aggression.

We’ve got 8 weeks to TCAP and 12 left in the year. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

I've been off dreaming

I'm going to just put it out there. They say that the end of September through to November is the hardest stretch for teachers. I thought it was hard my first year but I'm thinking I may trade that for these past weeks. Last year, I had enormous student turnover and instability. That was limited in many ways to just my classroom. This year, that sense of instability has seeped out into the building as a whole. I don't know the names of all the teachers in my building, in particular those who've been hired to replace those who have already quit. We have substitutes in on a regular basis and some days the substitutes just don't show up.

Morale is incredibly low. If it weren't for dedication to the students, the ones that desperately want and need to be there, I think there would be a mass exodus of teachers from my school at Christmas. Most days, it feels like nothing's working and there's no benefit to being there.

Yesterday, I had a substitute. By all accounts, it was a miserable day in Room 207. As one particular perceptive child put it after our morning meeting, "it sounds like the students took advantage of the substitute" If "taking advantage" means throwing things, refusing to sit down, telling him things that were not true about our routine, then yes, sweetie, that's exactly what happened.

Whenever you have a substitute, you can never be entirely sure what work will get done and what work will fall by the wayside. Most days, I'm just relieved to come back and hear that no one was sent to the office, no one was suspended, and no one had to have the police called on them (all within the realm of possibility). I left a pretty cool activity for them to do related to our reading of"My Brother Martin" about
Martin Luther King based on his "I have a dream" speech. As we're in the process of creating an imaginary settlement on the moon, we're talking about what societies need to be successful and desirable.

Here are the first few dreams that I got from students
-ps2
-sweet car
-be famous from my realty tv show
-die and be buried looking beautiful
-i have all the lip glos


After reading, I did stop and out my head in my hands. What is this? Is this really the only way I can get them to think? Perhaps they would be better off with someone else in the room.

And then I got to the next chunk.

-- I have a dream that my older brother would treat me with respect
-- I have  dream that my mom would stop yelling at me alot
--I have a dream that the fourth grade would listen to their teachers
--I have a dream that my father would stay on this earth so he could see his kids get older and succeed
--I have a dream that I get old enough to teach my baby sister the right thing
-- I have a dream that my mom could find a job
--I have a dream that I become a great young lady
--I have a dream that everyone in this class gets a degree
--I have a dream that I open my own nail salon and become a successful businesswoman
-- save money to help old people (ELL, so this is a big idea to get across)

Selfless dreams, aiming high but aiming for possible -- that's why I drag my butt out of bed in the morning and force down that nauseous feeling that I'm failing my students.

Here one moment, gone the next...

On Fridays, I make a point of eating lunch with my kids. Normally, I try to avoid the din and air of madness that is the cafeteria, but the kids get so excited about it that I can compromise once a week. This past Friday, I managed to get more kids involved in conversation than ever before. That included Christian, who rarely participates in anything voluntarily.

Why the interest? One of my students has a relative with a local TV show, and she was going to be on it over the weekend to talk about September 11th.

With one or two exceptions, none of my students this year were alive on September 11, 2001. Last year, I had a child whose birthday was September 11th and I didn't have the heart to explain to her why I couldn't work up the same level of enthusiasm about her birthday as 4th graders expect.

The title of this blog makes it clear that I'm from the North. New England. Boston, to be exact. While the events of September 11th had an impact on everyone from around the country, it's been fascinating comparing stories with those who were here in Nashville at the time. I wanted to convey this experience to my students, but without frightening them or confusing them. Because truly, they've all lived in a post-9/11 world. They don't remember a world where few people had cell phones, making it hard to track people down in an emergency. They can't tell you exactly why we're fighting a war, but they know that we're at war.

On September 11, 2001 I was in the 8th grade (a detail I did not share with my students -- they don't need to know how old I actually am). We were in our first period class when someone from the office came to the door and told us to report to our homerooms. My school was very small, so all 60 of us were able to cram into one room, thinking "what is going on?". Another office person came by with a note for a classmate -- as she passed it, she said "your dad's alright" before leaving. Needless, the girl was confused and the rest of us wondered why that message was important enough to pass along and yet we weren't being told what was happening.

And when they told us, no one believed it. Then they turned on the news, and we were confronted with the truth -- this was going to be one of those moments that no matter who you are, where you were from, you would know exactly where you were at the moment you heard about the World Trade Towers falling.

That night, my family ate dinner together as we always did. Except, in rare form, we ate in front of the television, to hear updates and read for names of those who had died. A member of my church was on one of the planes leaving Logan that day. My parents knew others who had been in New York or were on planes bound for California that day. While my father's the poet in the family, my 13-year old self felt compelled to write a poem about that day, which began "Here one moment, gone the next..."

It's hard to explain how life has changed to my 4th graders. They know, like many others, that my brother is a member of the U.S. Military and I am fiercely loyal and proud of him. His deployment date has changed now more times than I can remember, and while I know he feels he should go, each time I hope that they've decided they don't need to send more troops overseas.  Without September 11th, I don't know if my brother would have made the same choice to join the military.

Around the same time 10 years ago, I began to struggle with my faith and with religion. While the arguments go back and forth about how 9/11 is actually tied in with religion, it made a young and confused teenager question how horrible acts could be committed by people who claimed to follow their religious tenets. I'm not just talking about the debates of Islam, but even "Christians" who treated other Americans cruelly based on their own perception of Islam, which more often than not seemed to have been developed without ever actually talking to someone who was Muslim.

While I still struggle with faith in a religious sense, since 9/11 I've put my faith into what I know I can believe in: helping others. I think that's why I've been drawn to education. Issues in education are pervasive, and yet regardless of where you started, people tend to agree on the primary aims: We are here to help the children, as everyone, regardless of birth or upbringing, has a right to a quality education. I wouldn't hear about Teach for America for another 2 years, but I think I would still have felt compelled to serve in some way.

A couple from college was married a year ago today. When they announced their date, the reaction was muted. "Oh" we said behind their backs "what a horrible date to be married." They clearly recognized this, as they included a section on their wedding website that explained that they wanted to remember the day in a positive way. That to them, they remembered the outpouring of patriotism and community togetherness that 9/11 created.

To some people like my students, 9/11 may just be a day that people mark like Memorial Day or Labor Day but fail to make any meaningful connection to. For those of us whose job it is to educate them, I hope we succeed to make them think more about just the 3,000 +lives that were lost on that day, but how it changed the lives of millions, if not billions, of people across the globe. And that for a moment, it wasn't a matter of black/white, rich/poor/, north/south, but rather, bring connected to something bigger and greater than oneself.

iTeach

I'd heard that Apple was encouraging people to donate their first generation iPads to Teach For America, but it barely registered on my radar. As a second year corps member, I figured any goodies would be given to the newbies.

But lo and behold, look what landed in my inbox this week from our TFA*Nashville Operations Director:

"What could an iPad do for your classroom and your students? Well, we're asking you to help us answer this question. Because of an extraordinarily generous initiative from Apple, you'll soon be receiving a first generation iPad for your classroom. Apple and its customers have donated iPads through a campaign that has featured Teach For America and our corps members in Apple stores across the country."

To recap: When Apple announced the iPad was coming while I was in college, I'm pretty sure I remember laughing out loud at how ridiculous it was. I had no idea how or why anyone would use this product or want to. When my college roommates dad had one that he brought out on a visit, I tried my darndest not ogle the strange contraption.

So here's my dilemma. While not a complete luddite, my knowledge of what the iPad could do in my classroom is limited. Having cultivated a number of tech-savvy friends over the years and my own proclivity for falling for enginerds, I know I know people who can give me ideas on how to best utilize this technology. If you've got one, shoot me an e-mail or leave a comment.

And it's begun...

Last year, I was overwhelmed by the number of kids initially in my room (27) and the number of kids that left and arrived over the course of the year.

I've already had my first student leave and it breaks my heart. The school was simply too far away for the family. He left unceremoniously on Thursday last week and I cleaned out his desk this morning.

Today was a grudge day -- kids would not stop talking, not taking consequences well, copier broken, copier fixed, copier out of toner. In essence, the usual added with an unusual level of tired. When I checked my email at the end of the day, I had this waiting for me in my inbox.

Hi Ms. Astronaut:  This is [Sarah], [Jon's] mom just writting to thank you for the help you gave him during the days he was at [your school].  He really enjoyed being with you as a teacher.  You are the first teacher that he have had that called to introduce yourself and being so helpfull.

Thank you I really appreciate how you make him feel at class.  God bless you for your great work.!!!!

Frown? Turned upside down. Here's to hopefully a trend of similar sentiments!

Keeping up with the Joneses

And we're officially back in business! Metro Nashville schools welcomed back almost 80,000 students on Thursday for the first day of school (albeit a half one at that). The week leading up to it was a blur of faculty meetings and room preparation, so much so that on Wednesday night I felt that familar "uh oh, what's tomorrow going to be like feeling?" that had disappeared over the summer.

Even as a second year teacher, there's a lot to keep track of. We have grown in size yet again! In the 2009-2010 school year, my school had about 260 kids enrolled. Last year, we hovered +/- about 10 from 500 for most of the year. On the first day of school this year, we had 650 students in the building with another 50 or so on the roll but who were not present (many people don't seem to understand that that first half day is so critical). The building itself looks the same, but the people within it look a bit different.

Changes thus far...

• A new principal. I cannot begin to describe how excited I am to be working under her. I think every conversation we had as a staff managed to find its way back to "How can we best help the students? What do we as teachers need to accomplish this?"
• An assistant principal! Numbers, not need, determine whether or not a school has an AP. Not only am I glad that responsibilities can be shared, I also have really enjoyed all my interactions with my AP
• Coaches--Last year, we had a Reading Coach. This year, we have a (new) Reading Coach, a Numeracy Coach, AND three additional Coaches on leave from their schools to come and provide support to the 46 untenured teachers.
• Inclusion -- this year, I will be co-teaching for 2 hours a day with our ELL teacher. I will also have another hour of the day where an Exceptional Ed teacher will be in the room. For someone who felt really alone in my room last year, the door this year is going to be pretty open with inclusion and 6 official observations.
• New staff! - We've grown in student enrollment to the point where we have 6 teachers on each grade level. It's been a challenge to try and remember names, faces, and assigned positions as we've welcomed people into the building over the course of the summer. It will be confusing -- we now have several Smiths and confusing number of Joneses working in the building (at least 4...)

I'm a bit nervous about this upcoming year because I know I will be challenged to push myself to make my kids more successful. Adding several experienced teachers to my team has made me really see how much work I have to do to become a better teacher.  However, this year I feel prepped with the tools at my school to make those changes. After a shoddy relationship with my PD this past year, I look forward to a much more effective and supportive relationship with my new MTLD (Talk about overwhelming changes. My school had a ton, and then TFA went and changed things on me!)

I'll save my thoughts on my new kids until I meet all of them on Monday, but here's a preview.

I have a feeling I will very quickly be obsessed with them :)