Whoever smelt it...

When I first learned I would be teaching elementary school, my favorite memories turned to 4th grade. I had an absolutely remarkable 4th grade teacher who would go on to be a semi-finalist for my state's teacher of the year award. I remember reading Shadow of a Bull in literature circles, being told my new favorite book was at an 8th grade level, singing along with the girls at recess to the popular songs of the era -- either Spice Girls or Titanic. I remember being bullied and picked on, but for things like being really smart and wearing glasses.

My memory, however, is overall pretty foggy on many of the details. I do remember having a crush on the same boy throughout elementary school. He lived right around the corner and every so often growing up our families would have playdates with all the kids. I tried my hardest to hide that I liked him so using my skills in logic, I was mean to him and said I hated him. I've learned from my girls this is no longer the accepted rationale in 4th grade. Being mean to a boy is so he doesn't think you're easy. Duh.

One thing I have no memory of is how certain bodily functions were dealt with, especially farting. The only thing that sticks out is the phrase "Whoever smelt it, dealt it"

I began to realize this would be an issue in my classroom fairly early on. In the middle of class one day, I had a girl raising her hand, anxiously bouncing up and down in her seat. I let the kids get started on the activity and walked over to her.

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I asked (at this point we weren't really supposed to let students leave by themselves) She shook her head quickly."Do you need a drink of water?" I inquired, now curious why she was so agitated.

"No, Ms. Astronaut. I need to go in the hall" she replied. I'd let students step out in the hallway if they needed a minute to cool down, but this girl did not seem upset.

"Why?" I asked.

Her neighbor looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Ms. Astronaut, she's got to toot."

I agreed to let her leave, and as she walked away I turned toward the board and laughed to myself. How ridiculous it seemed that she would get so worked up about farting in class. Little did I know it was the start of a long saga with farting.

I discovered as the year went on that she would not be the only student who would ask for a reprieve to relieve themselves in this way. Finally, each time that laughter would erupt over a noxious smell I would say "Guys, it's not funny. It's natural." Some of my better behaved students have started to echo this phrase whenever a farting incident occurs.

So why am I just writing about this now?

This week, one of my students was having routine flatulence issues. He was clearly embarrassed and it seemed as though something out of the usual had to be going on in his digestive system. We were sitting in a circle on the floor to introduce a math game, in fairly close proximity to one another, when it happened again for the upteenth time that day. One girl almost always leads the charge in laughing and she was not holding back this time. I could see the boy beside looking nervous, worried, and on the verge of tears beside beside me.

So I did what I had to do. I took responsibility for his fart.

After I claimed responsibility for the smell that was quickly dispersing across the carpet, there was silence. Then the ringleader began to laugh even harder. In my most serious teacher voice, I asked her what was so funny.

"But Ms. Astronaut, I ain't never had a teacher fart before!"

As the class erupted into laughter, I couldn't help but smile. Even though my kiddos are in the scary discovering hormones phase, they still are fascinated to learn that their teachers are real people. You own skinny jeans? You have a family? You eat lunch when you're not with them in the lunchroom? You like who [insert almost any popular artist here]?!?

Lesson of the year: Real people can make mistakes. Mini-lesson of the day: Real people fart.

I didn't mean to be disrepectin you

85 hours of work, 20 hours of sleep during the week and that again this weekend -- that in a small nutshell is what my schedule has been like this first week of teaching.

I'm off to meet with my CMA aka Corps Member Adviser to hear her thoughts on the lesson she observed on Friday. I'd originally been scheduled for an observation on Wednesday, but the fire alarm went off in the middle of my lesson. Oof.

As my brain is only thinking in short bursts and segments, a glimpse of what my week looked like in disconnected experiences

--- My kids were so good at one concept I was teaching that I was coming up with math problems on the fly. Too bad one of the problems I came up with was the one exception to the rule, and then utterly confused them.
--- My darling ELL student has moved. No idea to where, but she came in one day and told us she wasn't going to be back.
--- My slightly-less darling child whose parents decided she did not need to take her medication has stopped coming to school since the school told her mom either send her with meds or don't send her
--- I get hugs almost every day
--- When I leave to go to my training sessions, the kids ask "are you coming back? When are you coming back?" as if I'm going to leave them. Makes me happy that they like me, makes me sad that they are so worried about people leaving them
---Called parents for the first time. One was totally positive, the other an exercise in how to nicely tell a parent that their child can do the work but chooses to disrupt the class.
---I had to give a lot of warnings in the hallway on the way to and from lunch this week. One boy was really upset about his behavior and the number of warnings he got. He called me over during independent work and apologized (hence the title of the post)
---I had one child offer to give his good behavior tickets to another who hadn't gotten enough to get a prize from the Treasure Chest. It was so sweet, and it killed me to say no.
--- I look like I'm 15 according to one student
--- I'm "old" according to another
---I've grown highly concerned about potential smudges on my rear end, which is precariously close to the the marker tray. No matter what color, it looks like poo to 2nd graders.
---My school has been broken into twice this week. They don't seem to be taking much stuff (except for one CM's laptop) but more targeted vandalism against specific administrators. Almost worse that it seems like a calculated attack from someone somehow connected with the community
--- We had yet another birthday in my corps, celebrated with a group trip to see the Braves. Man, am I going to miss baseball games in Nashville.
--- My school back in Nashville has been officially renamed...to a mouthful. It's a much better reflection of the school as it reopens, but I'll be curious to see how it gets "abbreved"
---I lost my power cord to my computer. They tell you laptops are optional at Institute. FALSE.
---I bought a new power cord and cried on the inside to see more money leaving my bank account knowing I won't get paid for another 2 months at least.
---I still have yet to drink a cup of coffee.
---I got severely dehydrated and wasted worktime at school lying down on the "instructional carpet". I think I may start napping in my classroom in the fall. Benefits of being an elementary school teacher.
---I am steps closer to signing my lease in Nashville
--- I am still blown away by the love and support of my family, corps, and friends (shout out to Ms. C and Ms. S!!)

The more time I spend here, the more I find myself exhausted, but inspired for Nashville, my corps, my school, and for what is yet to come.

p.s. This week, I will reattempt blocks. Wish me luck!!